4 năm không viết. 0 còn tha thiết.

Giờ này 4 năm trước mình làm gì nhỉ? À vẫn đang lăn lộn với 1st job. Công việc trui rèn một thằng chưa bao giờ cầm cái đục cái búa thành một hardcore engineer biết phân biệt thế nào là mũi khoan gỗ với mũi khoan xi măng. 1 năm trời vất vả dạy mình về ý chí của 1 entrepreneur là thế nào. Biết thế nào là làm việc xuyên đêm ở cảng trọn 1 ngày. Mình nghĩ j trong khoảng thời gian đấy nhỉ. Đan xen giữa cảm giác phiêu lưu của thằng nhóc vừa rời ghế nhà trường muốn explore building cool stuff, với cảm giác lạc lối tù mù không biết lựa chọn của mình là j?

Rồi đến khi biết rằng cái thể loại mình là thể loại thích sướng. Ha ha. Cả năm lăn lội ngoài cảng làm mình cứng rắn hơn, nhưng thâm tâm thì kẻ lười này chỉ muốn được làm công chức white collar thảnh thơi. Bắt đầu ghen tị khi 12h trưa phải đứng giữa cái nắng công trường, ngồi nắp cần cẩu ngó sang những tòa CBD điều hòa chạy phà phà. I QUIT

Quit công việc lao động vất vả, mình vào làm 1 tổ chức nghiên cứu của Sing 4. Mục tiêu đặt ra là chui vo financial sector (Chung quy cũng là vì cái điều hòa ô hay thật). Mình chọn một công việc kết hợp giữa finance và computing. Ở đây lần đầu được tiếp xúc với coding. Mặc dù chuyên ngành ko phải là computer science nhưng vì ko ngu nên mình pick up ầm ầm. Được làm team lead 1 cái project khá to revamp the whole code system. Nghe thì hoành mà thật ra nhàn lắm. Thời gian này thì bắt đầu yêu lại và bén 1 mối tình nhẹ nhàng. Thực ra cũng ko nhẹ đối với ng ta. Nhưng đối với mình thì nhẹ nhàng lắm. 2 năm không nghĩ nhiều - công việc đơn giản, tranh thủ học đc 2 cái CFA, lương thì hơi còm cõi nhưng bù lại về mặt tình cảm và tinh thần.

Fast forward 2 năm nhanh như chó chạy ngoài đồng. Giờ thì làm fundamental analyst ở Bloomberg. Người yêu bỏ (không muốn viết nhiều về cái event này. Cứ để nó tắc trong lòng. Buồn lắm rồi). Công việc bận lòi kèn nhưng ko mấy interesting. Mấy tháng trở lại đây mình bị nghiện crypto. Ăn mơ làm ngủ đều nghĩ đến viễn cảnh get rich overnight. Make few mistake here and there. Swing hard - thousands mĩ kim per day làm mình mất hết cảm xúc với mọi thứ xung quanh. Few scars, crashes and burns làm mình biết mình ko hợp làm trader. Thôi thì pick 1 promising project và hodl 5 năm xem sao. Giàu nghèo có số. LISK at 4.7$ now. Remind me 5 years later :).

Giờ cảm thấy mình sống cứ nhợt nhạt lờ lờ như lờ... Thất tình impact có vẻ lớn hơn mình tưởng mặc dù đã cố ko nghĩ nhiều cho nhanh quên.

Cuối tuần này về sài gòn mình sẽ viết tiếp. Dần dần rồi sẽ bớt nhạt.

On the right track

CFA FRM MFE...

CCCCCOMBBOOO.

BRING ALL THE BITCHES ON!

When the sun comes up

Off track (Or Checklist ver 2)

It's been 5 months since the entry Checklist was posted. Now it's 3:25 in the morning (just same as the time of the Checklist entry) and it's so amusing to look back all the goals and achievements so far. Am I too ambitious? Or the list was too long and I was so ignorant. Ok let's do a quick review.

Haha I failed at the very first goal. Get rid of Youtube masturbation activities. This is harder than I thought, the viral effect of this site is beyond my expectation. First thing when I open my browser is typing in F or Y so quick. That's so seriously bad habit and I should stop it once and for all. To fix this effectively, let's think about the reason. I spent so much time at home with the computer. Let's stay away by involving in more outdoor activities. From now on I will have only 2 hours per day using the laptop. Do it wise, make it productive.

The FYP is such a funny story. It's really entertaining to have something to record your moments in the past and to look back at them in the future. This blog is quite a great tool. It showed how panic I am 5 months ago when I couldn't make any progress on the project. Now it's done, and I only did it in 1 week, literally! My prof is sooooo nice and I think that I did something good to him during my pastlife and now the Karma pay me off (trom via'!!! hope that the grade is as promising as he said). Actually during this 1 week I worked my ass off to get the work done. I was so scared at first and I even couldn't think of any fruitful results but things get brighter and brighter each day :). Now I just need to finish editing it and the 8AUs are cleared!

The reading habit is screwed. 3 hours per day? RIDICULOUS! Not even 3 minutes =))). Why am I laughing right now....I should be ugly tiger huhu. Ok 2 hours seem fair? To facilitate good reading environment I should go to the place with nice view and quiet! And STAY AWAY FROM THE ELECTRONIC DEVICE!!!

Half-Failed at the well organized life. My room is clean and tidy but the sleeping habit is distorted. The award goes to the Breaking Bad series that I couldn't stop watching it episodes by episodes. Now the rule is 1 episode per day, no more!

The sport goal is half-way too. I'm 75kg now :p. But mainly because of the lifestyle (it's 4 am now hix) so my work out plan is f*cked up. 12am-7am run then swim. Be home by 8:30!!!

Ok that's it. To be condense, I will make a tight schedule on my Google calendar and sync with my phone. I must change, seriously. I'm being off-track recently for about 1 month. I can see myself falling....

P/S: Haha for the outdoor activities I have found my new passion: longboarding. Because of the time in US and this and this!! Hurray! Tomorrow I will go buy a longboard! I'm so excited haha.

On the cuckoo nest

Ok. Last post was so ridiculous. I don't remember how I came up with all the ideas about God and spiritual things and shit. I giggled a lot when reread the whole mess whose purpose is just to record the crazy part of the brain. But in fact, I enjoyed it. Because it's so real. Crazy but real.

Now let's do a proper review about the US trip. 6 weeks flowed so fast like the blink of an eye. I did visit some must-see places like Las Vegas and Grand Canyon, Universal studios. Now I'm at my cousin's house in San Francisco. Tomorrow we will visit some attractions in SF. To be honest, I could spend more time spent in US traveling, but because of the popular magic plant called "weed", all the travel plans were distorted. We smoked weed, drank beers every night, high like never before and start to do weird things and think weird thoughts. It's really really fun, and it won't make you physically addicted like cigarettes or other dangerous drugs like heroin or cocaine, you have to try it at least 1 time in your life. But because it was so fun so all of us don't want to sleep. We stayed up until the morning- at home or at some clubs, or at some movie theaters (whoaaa seeing movies after smoking weed is ten times funnier, even if the movie is not comedy at all, and listening to music too, it's like taking ecstasy) and sleep whole day until afternoon and the cycle continued.  I know that it's unhealthy and unproductive habit. But it's an experience that you will never have a chance to take again. Young and wild and free.

Traveling helps you open your mind, and enjoy the moment to its fullest. I want to live at different places in the world for different timelines. I hate routine. I love changes. New life and new people excite me. That's my dream to be at every corner of the world, from America to Europe, Africa and extreme place like North Pole. I will do everything to achieve that goal. I need money, a lot of money. I imagine my life like that. Earn enough money and set sail! Hopefully with a partner - my wife who has the same passion with me. We can have babies and they will have an adventurous life also lol. Or I don't mind living single until I'm tired and want to settle down. At some point of life people change, maybe when I'm 40 I want to have a family and live in Vietnam until the end of time). We never know so the point is to live your life whatever you like so that you won't be regret at the end. 

One of many philosophies that I have learned when I'm here in US is the analogs of life. The course of time is very much like the course of a ship in the ocean: Alan Watts. It is so deep and I am not be able to absorb all but just a part of it helped me a lot.

Ok have a good night young fish. The ocean's wide and you have a lot to discover. "You see, if you insist on being moved, being determined by the past, that's your game. But the fact of the matter is it all starts right now."

I don't want to name the title at first. Let's see how my mind flow. At this moment, I am so high. Yes! Of course! You can tell, right?

6 weeks of the GSS program is like the time of my life. I always think that the geological factor is not the big reason for people to diversify in their characteristics (physically as well as mind). But now I can see. It's more than a blowing wind. It's a blowing with the w in the word "wind" being fucked and be turning up-side-down to become "mind". Yeah! To the freaking hell that I don't quite realize the moment. May be all these times are the scarce moments when you live spiritually. We all sure doubted (human are born questioning everything, that's why we evolve and soon became the domination of the world) the theory about spirits and materials. That's sick huh?

Ok. So what's the point of this post after all? First, I feel guilty neglecting all my determinations when first creating this blog. The words were so young, burning with desire to live the wonderful life. Yeah, that's the problem with all of us, we are so eager, full of energy when "the weather" is fine (like here in LA, CA). But when the storms come, we all hesitate and stay cozy in the miserable comfort zone and simply surrender. Ok that sounds insane right? But to some extent, I think I made a point? Or didn't I? Just babbling nonsenses... Yeah...

Second, Although I actually can feel that I'm ridiculous right now..., like a fuckin clown. But screw it. I want to picture this crazy feeling created by some complicated intrigue reactions when we burn the amazing plants called "weeds" and smoke. It's really hard to locate the keyboard right now, let alone wrting some good shit educational impacted ideas for your good life. But, really, My mindset changed! You may ask how? when? and what's exactly the feeling about it. It's really simple. BAM! You change! That's it!!!!!!!! Nah! Lol Im just fucking with you. That's not what you just can get when think over and over again and again with your logical brain. It has nothing to do with the logic. Yeah, I used to be an atheist. In fact, I'm still an atheist now. But what I mean is that now I have belief in some supernatural objects that science haven't proved or cannot ever explain properly by some"logical ways" (again, fuck logics! when you choose to believe in spiritual or not. You can't be in between. You must be either completely an atheist or a true "believer". Because why? Think about it. You may ask! Ok if there're God- the superfreakin' master who knows everything and creates everything, then who created God? And scientists keep on asking that question, thinking that there must be logical answers for everything. Fuck the logic. Again! Twice in the face! The answer of that question does not involve anything related to logic. It is the same as trying to look at this very simple question: Can you imagine, or quantify the smallest  (or greatest) physical thing. The answer is you can't, logically. The proof is: "If there is something to be considered the smallest (or greatest), then what is the "super thing" underneath the smallest and beyond the greatest". I feel kind of the same as definition of Limit in Maths. You may excuse that you are not "advance" enough to see this kind of logic, may be some day we will be able to understand all these, through natural selection and evolution to become smarter! And that's the good excuse!...

Because
.
.
We never know! Right?

I don't know what mess that I just poop out of my completely fucked up brain! This is the most crazy timeline ever in my life up to now. Smoking weed really help you release the lock that control the spiritual soul imprisoned inside you. You start seeing weird things... No! things are actually the same but the things inside them are different -> so that's the same as to be able to believe non-materalistic things that you will never can comprehend when your brain is not in the "compatible mode". Seeing is not believing (things remain unchanged, for the outside). But when you believe, you can see.

May be tomorrow I will wake up and read all this stuff, and I will be so shy, and guilty that makes me wanna delete this whole entry. But listen! LOOK! When you truly made it here this far, you should've forgotten about all the guilts and start fresh by keeping this epic-if-not-say-fail mess alive. Okay?

And again the bonus: I'm fucken in love with a new artist (new for me because I have just discovered her): Ingrid Michaelson. Trust me, she's good. Every song, especially all the songs in Human Again album. So if you hate this entry, let's take this as a sorry-gift for your time my friends! :)

Okay time to hibernate. Tomorrow I must do the homework of the whole course. I have less than 2 days to do all of them. Ok that's not as that bad. And the Friday night as usual, enjoy the materialism "filthy" satisfaction: hit the club after weeds and liquors with Tien 4 and Asif (later I will definitely write a whole entry about him, he is an amazing once heroin addicted American friend (now of course he's clean) that deserves the respect), we will be high as fuck, confidence boost to the sky, pick women, and later fuck the shit out of them. =)). That's crazy....But life is all about enjoying the moment spiritually and materialistically without falling off the track.

Aha! I still remember that I haven't set the title of this beautiful garbage full of cabbages. I won't even edit it right now so this is the forever unedited version. The title will be:

One flew over the cuckoo nest..... (hey here's your another recommendation beside Ingrid Michaelson's Human again album: go watch this movie, OFOTCK is so sicking good!)

Checklist

It's 3:25 in the morning. I'm so tired right now but all the thoughts inside my head keep me awake. So I decide to make a very first checklist and see whether things will go as I plan. Yes I will graduate soon, at the end of this year, until then I have so many things to do. This summer is gonna be the last summer of my student life but I'm not quite ready to end this leisure, worry-free life. But to move out of the comfortable zone is a MUST so better start now before it's too late.

1. I have so many non-value added activities to get rid of (but I'm deeply addicted to them so let's first reduce their frequency)

• Watch AOE clips at chimsedinang.com: fuck that, what for? Do you want to go pro? What will you get after hours watching these nonsenses?
• Browsing youtube, watching random stupid video that's not related to anything you want to do. STOP!
• Play video game. PES2012 master league, play strictly only 3 matches per day! Stop Shogun 2 total war because this game is so time-consuming.

2. Plan for the US trip.

• Settle down all necessary fees and documents.
• Contact off-campus housing.
• Make a detail travel plan.

3. FYP.

• At least 3 hours per day. Must be productive. Total concentration by studying in SPMS or RR.
• Have some good idea to consult the professor before departure.

4. Recover reading habit.

• Find some good books to read. At least 3 hours per day.
• Take notes if find something interesting.

5. Sport.

• Either Tennis, Swimming or Jogging.
• 75kg goal by the end of this year.
• Try gym next semester (Quang bi please teach me master!) 

6. Be well-organized.

• Clean and tidy room in the morning.
• Sleep as scheduled. 1am-8am. 1 hour in the afternoon if tired.

Ok that's the end of Fish's list. It's a little bit difficult but it's for your own sake Fish! The outcomes will be worth your efforts!

Fight Fight Fight!

.
.
.
Irrelevant bonus: a fuckin' catchy love song that got stuck in my head these days >"<